Think of it as a funky  Public Health Announcement of a Sexual Nature. This was my entry in ccmixter’s Agent Blues secret mixter project. My secret collaborator was BigBonobo Combo, upon whose Safe Sex production this is based. Big Boner Beau is me (with some audio enhancement for audiophile dysfunction.) Thanks to my real-woman Bonee (who chooses to remain incognito), Daniel Cambier on very funky bass, and sax player Mauro Durão, who sounds a lot like Derek Pascoe in our band Max Mo back in Adelaide, South Australia. Thanks to Bigbonobo for the inspiration and original production.

Let’s have safe sex.

I’m your  big boner beau…

You want da boom boom? Ya come up to ma room room.

I’m not into purity, I need a bit of security.

I may be sleazy – but I ain’t easy.

Let’s get climactic with a prophylactic.

Bigbonobo: Ladies I’m talkin’ to you. All the ladies. If ya wanna have fun. I you wanna have a great time. Come on.

Big Boner Beau/ Bigbonobo:

Big Boner Beau says Peace. Peace. Big Boner Beau says Love. Big Boner Beau says Happiness. Big Boner Beau says Let’s have safe sex. And be happy.

I may be sleazy – but I ain’t easy.

You sexy girls can save the world

You gotta watch your health, look after yourself

Don’t get redactive – you gotta get proactive. Yeah.

Just tell him:

Bonee:

If you ain’t wearin’ –

I’m not ain’t sharin’

Don’t wanna get “clapped”

I take my sausage shrink-wrapped.

You can get boney

but leave the skin on the baloney.

I’ll take off my Playtex

if you put on a latex

Call me Gretel –

(I need my ’Ansell!)

Life’s for livin’ –

but the condom’s a given

I’ll come up to your condominium

but the condom’s a minimum

Put that cock in a sock

It’s a lovely erection

but where’s the protection?

Just wanna holdya

my Trojan soldier

I’ll take your Big Bubba

if he’s dressed in a rubber

I won’t take no whanger – ‘less it’s  dressed in a franger*

Hey Superman,

put on your suit.

* ancient Aussie slang for ‘french letter.’ (Showing my age!)