{"id":599,"date":"2011-04-30T19:27:56","date_gmt":"2011-04-30T08:27:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.robwalkerpoet.com\/?page_id=599"},"modified":"2011-06-22T11:11:22","modified_gmt":"2011-06-22T00:11:22","slug":"the-thoughts-of-charlie-sheen","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.robwalkerpoet.com\/?page_id=599","title":{"rendered":"The Thoughts of Charlie Sheen"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/object><\/p>\n

Mostly direct quotes from The Half Man himself. Delivered in an Aussie accent. Deal with it.
\nI did the music myself in Garageband.<\/p>\n

The Max Mo version:<\/p>\n

Find more artists like Max_Mo<\/a> at Myspace Music <\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Jeris’ amazing jazz remix:
\n<\/object><\/p>\n

The Thoughts of Charlie Sheen<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m Charlie Sheen.
\nNot Chaim Levine.
\nWow. What does that mean?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m victimized\t Demonized
\nNot like you with your boring lives
\nYour sexless ugly wives<\/p>\n

I got goddesses to make you sigh
\nGot the best women money can buy<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the code. And we all live by it. Comatose.
\nI am grandiose. Because I live a grandiose life.<\/p>\n

A sitcom man everyone mentions
\nI\u2019m a peaceful man with bad intentions.<\/p>\n

A brain that\u2019s screwed by coke & dope
\nI\u2019m spiritual. I work for the pope.<\/p>\n

Fists of fire. A Vietnam chopper.
\nThere are parts of me that are Dennis Hopper.<\/p>\n

You boring nerds are tame & tragic
\nI expose people to magic.<\/p>\n

Vintage balderdash. Call me vain?
\nYou can\u2019t process me with a normal brain.<\/p>\n

You guys are zeroes why not face it?
\nI\u2019m a grandiose life, and I embrace it.<\/p>\n

Bring me a challenge. Somebody.<\/p>\n

Throw a wrench. Rage against the machine.
\nI am on a drug. It\u2019s called Charlie Sheen.<\/p>\n

I improvise like hardbop jazz.
\nThe scoreboard doesn\u2019t lie. Never has.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think people are ready for the message I\u2019m delivering\u2026 I don\u2019t know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us.<\/p>\n

The last time I used? What do you mean? I used my toaster this morning.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re a part of my family, I will love you violently.
\nApocalypse Now
\nwill teach you how
\nto live inside of a moment between a moment.
\nChange your brain.
\nThey can\u2019t hang with me. Their bones would melt like wax.
\n#WINNING.
\nBring me a challenge. Somebody.
\nYour face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.
\nYou borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like \u2019Dude, can\u2019t handle it. Unplug this bastard.\u2019\t Teamwork. Bang.
\nIt was so gnarly I can\u2019t remember.<\/p>\n

The wildfires are spreading.
\nThe meek are scattering.<\/p>\n

Duh, #WINNING. Everything. Next question.
\nI\u2019m bi-winning. I win here, and I win there. Process it.
\nI don\u2019t live in the middle anymore.
\nI don\u2019t think people are ready for the message I\u2019m delivering.<\/p>\n

Can\u2019t is the cancer of happen.
\nI\u2019m an F-18 bro.
\nI will deploy my ordinance.
\nMy fire-breathing fists.
\nI\u2019ve got tiger blood and Adonis DNA,
\nI\u2019m done. It\u2019s on. Bring it.<\/p>\n

Process it.<\/p>\n

I am battle-tested bayonets bro.
\nI am special, and I will never be one of you.
\nThe run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger and Richards look like droopy-eyed armless children.
\nI\u2019m on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front.
\nThis is me NOT on drugs bro.
\nI\u2019m cured. I\u2019m done. Overrr.
\nCarlos Irwin Estevez. I\u2019ve lost my Sheen.
\nI\u2019m a wiener.
\nAnger is my passion.
\nHotel room\u2019s for trashin\u2019.<\/p>\n

You may remember me from 2 & a half men. I\u2019m the half\u2026<\/p>\n

L\u2019chaim<\/p>\n

The end.<\/p>\n

Wow. Then what.
\nNot gonna happen.
\nShut up . Shut UP.. Period.
\nMove forward. Deal with it.<\/p>\n

\u00a9 rob walker, 2011<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mostly direct quotes from The Half Man himself. Delivered in an Aussie accent. Deal with it. I did the music myself in Garageband. The Max Mo version: Find more artists like Max_Mo at Myspace Music Jeris’ amazing jazz remix: The … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":531,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-599","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robwalkerpoet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/599","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robwalkerpoet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robwalkerpoet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robwalkerpoet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robwalkerpoet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=599"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/www.robwalkerpoet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/599\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":748,"href":"https:\/\/www.robwalkerpoet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/599\/revisions\/748"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.robwalkerpoet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/531"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.robwalkerpoet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}